There are many moments in life that we live through and never think about again. Then there are few moments, that we as mothers will always be able to identify with, almost as if we were reliving each second as they cross our thoughts. Some of those moments can be identified as the moment you found out you were pregnant, or the moment you shared the great news with your loved ones and co-workers, even the moment you first heard you baby's heartbeat, and we could never forget the moment you revealed baby's gender, and definitely the moment you gave birth *insert cringe face here*. Still recovering on this side.
Each of these happy and exciting moments still reflects so clear in my thoughts, and I'm sure yours as well. However, there is one moment on my motherhood journey that rings true to reality more than the others -- well maybe not more than labor. That moment for me was the time I left my baby for the first time... ever.
And to be very clear, my expression of emotion towards this issue is no reflection on the great care I left my baby in or the competency of the loving grandparents I left her with. It is completely a confession of how attached I became and am to the most precious little person in my life. I truly believe that until you've been pregnant and given birth, this moment in life does not hold as true to you. Not even my husband could completely understand the hole I felt in my chest, during the minutes and hours that went past.
Spending 9 months with baby in utero, while sleeping, eating, taking a bath, going shopping, and so forth binds you two together on a level that is beyond words. And the moment I had to separate from the baby, I was plagued with all types of guilt. Am I leaving her too early? Too long? Am I a bad mother? Will she be OK? Did I give them enough milk? Just. Pure. Panic.
This is where having a village of mothers, in your circle is priceless. As I needed a sounding board to bounce my concerns off of, I was grateful that I had women that were willing to listen and be honest about their own experiences. I was reassured that my feelings were NORMAL. I was given the advice to breathe and remember how well my parents took care of me, to remember that they would not do anything to hurt or harm my little girl, and most importantly, I know they would honor my requests as they pertain to the baby.
By no means am I saying, I have the separation game down pact -- because I do not. However, I do believe that I am taking 'baby' steps towards the greater goal, the unavoidable reality that one day I will have to leave her for an extended period of time. As I continue to crawl through towards the light, I encourage you all to do the same with confidence, patience, and a fully charged cell phone. For face-time of course.
Special Thanks to
"Our Guest Blogger"
Cable Media Professional
Wife and New Mommy
Until next time... #bethefaceofkindness